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Writer's pictureTamseel Fatima

Who Suffers More Emotional Pain After Breakup; Men Or Women?



Breakups lead to emotional challenges in men as well as women. They both experience sadness, frustration, anger, grief, regret, and various other feelings. While it is well-known that breakups can be difficult for both men and women. There has been much debate over who suffers more emotional pain after a breakup; men or women?


Researches go hand in favor with both. Some studies consider women to be the sufferer of more emotional pain. Yet, others favor men in this regard. Hence, this topic intrigues curiosity in many of us to look deeply into it. Here, we'll explore which gender suffers more emotional pain after a breakup.

Moreover, I'll discuss factors contributing to gender differences in emotional experiences. So, stick around with this blog to answer your queries.


Emotional Pain After A Breakup: What Is It And Why Does It Occur?


Breakups are a form of loss, and it's typical to experience "breakup depression" or at the very least, profound grief, after one. You might be grieving your former relationship and the potential future you two planned. Give yourself time to go past your unhappiness and allow yourself to grieve the connection.

Then the question arises; why breakup hurts? Feelings of hurt and rejection might accompany a breakup. Even when there is mutual consent to end things, it's normal to experience uncomfortable emotions like anger or depression for a while. According to research, the area of the brain linked to motivation, rewards, and addiction cravings may be activated after a breakup, which may clarify why it feels so hurtful.



Moreover, emotional pain after a breakup impact person's mental and physical health adversely. They might isolate themselves from the rest of the world. People often go through more emotional pain if they suffer from a financial crisis after a breakup. Yet, it's normal to experience this all because, individuals have to redefine their sense of self, values, motives, and goals after a breakup.


Factors Affecting Emotional Pain After A Breakup


Every person goes through emotional pain after a breakup as they invested their true emotions. However, some factors intensify the level of emotional pain. One of the most significant factors is the length and intensity of the relationship.

Longer and more serious relationships tend to result in more intense emotional pain. Why? because the couple has likely invested more time and effort into the relationship.

Another key factor that affects emotional pain experience is social support. Various studies prove the positive role of social support in the experience of emotional pain followed by a breakup. If the person is receiving time, affection, support, and love from family and friends, the emotional pain experience will be lessened in such cases.

Other individual factors such as personality traits, coping mechanisms, and mental health status also play a significant role in the level of emotional pain after a breakup.

Greater pain relief was found to correlate to personality qualities involving self-control and anger management in various studies. This suggests that enhancing one's capacity for self-control and anger management may also enhance one's capacity for managing pain.

Those who lack self-control, tend to experience more emotional pain.


Gender Differences In Emotional Pain After A Breakup


Gender differences exist in the experience of emotional pain among men and women. According to human psychology, women take a longer time to get attached and detach quickly. On the flip side, men tend to get attached quickly and take a long time to detach themselves. Similarly, the experience of emotional pain also varies in both genders.

Apart from individual differences, women experience a huge amount of emotional pain at the time of a breakup. However, they overcome that pain quickly. On the other hand, men tend to ignore emotional pain right after a breakup and get involved in something else. Yet, they experience more pain after some time of the breakup and it gets prolonged.

However, it's worth noting that not all research has found consistent gender differences in emotional pain after a breakup.


Women's Experience Of Emotional Pain After A Breakup


Research suggests that women may experience a more significant emotional impact after a breakup than men. Women may be more likely to experience intense feelings of sadness, grief, and loss, and to struggle with the loss of the emotional connection and support they received from their partner.


Men take longer to "get over" their ex-lover than women do. Although women often experience the emotional sorrow of a breakup more acutely.

In general, women mentioned their emotional suffering slightly higher than their male counterparts, including emotions like grief, depression, anxiousness, fear, and lack of concentration. In addition, women reported experiencing the physical effects of a breakup more severely than males (things like insomnia, panic attacks, eating disorders, and weight change).



A key contributor to women's experience of emotional pain post-breakup is their coping. They engage in emotional processing activities by kept on discussing the same thing with friends and family. For the time being, it heightens their experience of emotional pain. Yet, it assists them to get back to their life faster compared to men.

It's important to recognize that every person's experience of emotional pain after a breakup is unique. These individual differences play a significant role in the emotional coping of the individual after a breakup.


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Men's Experience Of Emotional Pain After A Breakup


Despite the long-held belief that men are less emotionally committed in relationships than women, recent research has revealed that males are more likely than women to suffer greater emotional distress as a result of a breakup.

Usually, men choose to go for avoidant coping strategies. They keep themselves engaged in some other tasks or games or may be turned towards alcohol. Hence, it seems like the breakup didn't bother them anyway.



However, this behavior keeps on growing feelings of hurt inside them. As a result, they experience more emotional pain and longer duration as well.

Other societal stigmas, like men, don't cry, don't express, also aids in the intensification of emotional pain experienced in men.


Societal And Cultural Factors Contributing To Gender Differences In Emotional Pain After A Breakup


Societal and cultural factors contribute a lot to gender differences in emotional pain after a breakup. For example, gender norms and expectations can influence how men and women are socialized to express their emotions.

Women are often encouraged to be more emotionally expressive and to seek social support when going through difficult times. However, men are often expected to be more stoic and self-reliant.

These norms can create barriers for men to express their emotions and seek social support which leads to prolonged emotional pain.


Coping Mechanisms For Emotional Pain After A Breakup


Many coping mechanisms can help individuals manage emotional pain after a breakup.




Social support

Social support helps the individual feel less isolated and provides emotional comfort and perspective.


Seek professional help

Seeking professional help from a therapist or counselor can also be a helpful coping strategy. They provide tools and strategies for managing emotions and processing the breakup.


Engage in self-care habits

Engaging in self-care activities, such as exercise, meditation, and hobbies, also help individuals manage their emotional pain by promoting feelings of calm and well-being.


Reframe your mind

Additionally, reframing negative thoughts and focusing on personal growth and self-reflection can help individuals find meaning and purpose after a breakup.

It's important to remember that everyone copes with emotional pain differently, and what works for one person may not work for another. Ultimately, the key is to find healthy coping mechanisms that feel meaningful and effective for each individual.


Conclusion: Who Suffers More Emotional Pain After A Breakup, Men Or Women?


According to recent research, men tend to experience more emotional pain after a breakup than women. However, the intensity of pain is greater in females. In my opinion, a person who is more emotionally invested in the relationship, irrespective of gender, tend to experience more pain after a breakup.


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