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How Comparison Affects the Relationship; Ways To Prevent Comparison

Human beings are social creatures. Our interactions with others play an important role in our emotional well-being. However, Starting to compare ourselves or our relationships to others can lead to feelings of inadequacy, jealousy, and resentment. Now the question arises how comparison affects the relationship?

Comparison can have a detrimental effect on relationships. It can lead to unrealistic expectations, a breakdown in communication, and a lack of trust and intimacy. Nowadays, with the prevalence of social media, the comparison has become an even more significant issue. Therefore, it is essential to understand how comparison affects the relationships and why comparison arises.

Why does Comparison Arises In A Relationship?

Comparison can arise in a relationship for a variety of reasons. One of the most common causes is the belief that someone else's relationship is better or more fulfilling than our own.

We may see other couples who appear to be more loving, affectionate, or successful and start to compare our relationship to theirs.

Social media platforms, where people often showcase the highlights of their lives, can heighten this feeling of inadequacy and fuel the comparison.

Moreover, comparison can arise due to a range of factors, including societal pressures, personal insecurities, and differences between partners. It's important to identify the root causes of comparison to address them and work towards building a healthier and more fulfilling connection.

How Comparison Affects the Relationship?

Comparison can affect relationships in following different ways. Identifying and addressing them can prevent a relationship from damaging.

Formation Of Unreasonable Expectations

Comparison in relationships can lead to the formation of unreasonable expectations in a few different ways. When we compare our relationship to others, we start to believe that other couples have an ideal or perfect relationship.

We may then set unrealistic standards for our relationship, believing that it should match the perceived ideal. It can lead to feelings of disappointment and frustration when our relationship does not live up to these unrealistic expectations.

Disturb Healthy Communication

We are very well aware of the importance of healthy communication in relationships. Comparison in relationships can have a significant negative impact on communication between partners.

When we compare our relationship to others, we may become less present and attentive to our partner's needs, thoughts, and feelings. It can lead to a breakdown in communication, as we may miss important cues or fail to respond appropriately to our partner's communication.

Furthermore, comparison can lead to a power dynamic that suppresses open and honest communication. It also leads to criticism and judgment, which erodes communication and trust by creating competition and hierarchy.

Creates Jealousy

Comparison in relationships can create jealousy and resentment between partners, as it can lead to feelings of inadequacy, insecurity, and competition.

When we compare our relationship to others, we may start to believe that our partner is not meeting our expectations or that we are not as good as other couples. It can create a sense of jealousy, as we may feel that our partner is not as committed, loving, or attentive as we would like them to be.

Loss Of Uniqueness

Comparison in relationships can lead to a loss of uniqueness between partners, as it creates pressure to conform to external expectations or standards. When we compare our relationship to others, we start to believe that there is a "right" or "normal" way to be in a relationship. We may feel pressure to fit into these norms, even if they do not align with our values or desires.

Moreover, comparison can lead to a sense of self-doubt or insecurity about our uniqueness. We start to believe that we are not good enough or desirable enough because we do not conform to these external standards. It can lead to a loss of uniqueness, as we may start to sacrifice our individuality or authenticity to conform to these norms.

A spiritual self-help book, "Nobody Owns The World", picks you out of relationship fantasy and address ways to tackle adversity.

How To Prevent Comparison In A Relationship?

Preventing comparison in a relationship can be challenging, but it is possible with effort and commitment. Here are some strategies that can help:

1. Practice Gratitude and Appreciation: Focusing on what we appreciate about our partner and the relationship can help shift our perspective away from comparison. Take time each day to express gratitude for your partner and the positive aspects of your relationship.

2. Focus on Internal Factors: Instead of comparing your relationship to others, focus on internal factors such as values, goals, and shared experiences. These are unique to your relationship and cannot be compared to external factors.

3. Communicate Openly and Honestly: Open and honest communication is essential to building a strong and healthy relationship. Encourage your partner to express their thoughts and feelings, and be willing to do the same.

4. Recognize the Danger of Social Media: Social media can be a major source of comparison in relationships. Limit your exposure to social media or take breaks from it altogether. Remember that social media is often a curated and edited version of reality and may not accurately reflect the reality of other relationships.

5. Build Self-Esteem and Confidence: Low self-esteem and confidence can contribute to comparison in relationships. Work on building your self-esteem and confidence through self-care, personal growth, and seeking support from loved ones or a therapist.

6. Emphasize Shared Experiences and Goals: Focusing on shared experiences and goals can help strengthen your connection and prevent comparison. Make a list of things you both enjoy doing together. Set goals that you can work on together as a team.

7. Prioritize Empathy and Understanding: Try to understand your partner's perspective and needs, and communicate your own in a non-judgmental way. It can help create a sense of mutual respect and understanding, which can prevent comparison.

8. Seek Professional Support or Counseling: If the comparison is causing significant distress in your relationship, consider seeking professional support or counseling. A therapist can help you identify and address the underlying issues contributing to comparison. They can provide tools for building stronger and healthier relationships as well.


In summary, while comparison can be a natural and common tendency, it is important to understand how comparison affects the relationship. To prevent it, recognizing the potential harm it can cause in relationships is crucial. Couples can cultivate a stronger, more fulfilling relationship by taking proactive steps to prevent comparison and promote positive communication.

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